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When your parent says they wish you had never been born.

I’ve been supporting people non-religious people who come from a Muslim family for the past 3 years (sometimes these individuals identify as 'ex-Muslim'). I have also been through my own journey of leaving Islam and telling my family this. I have some close friends who have done the same. The other day, a friend told me that last week their mum told them ‘I wish I had aborted you’.

In that moment, my reaction wasn’t shock, horror or sadness, it was ‘oh, has she not said that before’? I was alarmed at how normal this comment is for me to hear. I’ve had countless clients tell me this has been said to them.

We live in a society where we expect people have loving families who care for them, support them, or even just want them around. That might be the ‘norm’ for a lot of people, but it isn’t the norm for everyone. I am pleasantly surprised when I hear someone has a supportive and loving family.

I am sharing this because often a lot of my clients think they are the only ones with a family who doesn’t want them. If you are one of those individuals who does not have a loving or supportive parent/family, please know that you aren’t alone and there are many people who have little to no contact with their family. There may always be a little hole of what you wish could have been (there is for me), but with the right support, you can learn to live a life that brings you love.

Aisha x

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