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Family Estrangement - should you cut ties with your parents?

Why don’t my parents love me unconditionally?

This is something I hear from many ex-Muslims. It’s a question I can’t answer. I am not sure if its true they don’t love their children, or if they can’t accept them. Or are these both the same thing? I don’t know. I would like to think they are separate, but I can see why people would disagree with me on this.

Here in England, there has been a lot of media coverage on the Lucy Letby case (you can google this if you haven’t heard about it). Something that has stood out to me, is how her parents have been there at the trial, every single day. According to reports, when Lucy was first arrested, her mother tried to tell the police it was her who committed the crimes and to arrest her instead and she broke down when Lucy was found guilty.

Hearing and seeing parents of people like this, a serial killer who murdered and harmed babies, still be there to support their child who committed these crimes, really does make you realise the hold that religion can have over some parents. Some people who leave religion are treated so badly by their parents, worse than parents of individuals who commit crimes like these.

It makes me sad. But coming back to the question of why your parents don’t love you unconditionally, whilst I don’t have the answers, I do wonder if you are better off without parents who are like this? Family estrangement is hard, but so is being judged all of the time. Rather than having their unrealistic expectations weighing down on you, are you ultimately better off living your life without them? Only you can answer this.

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